He sat on the roof of his apartment building and rubbed his hands. This was it, this was the moment he had been waiting for for over a week now. The big test of his new toy.

And hopefully the salvation of Pacific City as well.

He double checked that he looked as professional as possible, his suit all nicely pressed and lint free, his mask on just right, everything perfect.

He was going to prove to his hero once again what an amazing team they could make.

He bent over and flipped a switch.

The spotlight beamed to life and shined into the heavens, reflecting off of the clouds covering Pacific City.

It worked!

The state of Texas silouetted off of the overhanging clouds that uh... hung over Pacific City.

And the man smiled under his Dick Cheney mask.

Anthology Two Presents
Bush43/Dick:
Don't You Remember You Told Me You Loved Me, Baby?
Baby Baby Baby Baby Oh Baby...
By Jason Kenney

Two Weeks Sooner...

"And Mayor Jerrod gave yet another press conference today spouting the success the Pacific City Police Department's new toy, the Siege Engine, has had in keeping Pacific City safe and secure," said Virgil Rock as he stared at the camera and into thousands of homes in Pacific City. "The Engine has been accredited not only with the apprehension of dozens of criminals over the last couple of months, but, most notibly, the apprehension of two of Pacific City's former heroes, Bush43 and Millennium Man, and villian slash hero slash whatever Charlie Winters. With me yet again is Doctor Richard Havert, Professor of Science Power Studies, Pacific City University. Thank you for joining us, Doctor Havert."

"Always a pleasure, Rock," said Doctor Havert as he straightened his suit coat and shifted himself in his seat.

"Doctor Havert," said Rock as he looked to notes on his desk, "you have published many articles on superpowered beings and vigilantism in general showing statistics that indicate an increase in criminal activity when these people are active, am I correct?"

"Yes, Rock, studies have shown that instead of preventing crime, these 'heroes' actually act as a catalyst to provoking more crime."

"Yet in the time since the apprehension of Millennium Man, Bush43 and Mister Winters, we have actually seen an increase in criminal activity."

"Rock, what you fail to look at is timing. It has only been a month since the apprehension of these people, the effects of such events will not take effect immedeately. We are also entering mid-summer months where the crime rate usually peaks. Also factor in that the Mayor has simply replaced vigilante science beings with government sanctioned science beings and we still have a negative influence created by the presence of such beings."

"So you're saying that it doesn't matter who these heroes work for but that their mere presence contributes to an increase in crime?"

"Their mere presence creates a challenge that many science villains are more than happy to accept and regular criminals are willing to risk. Many criminals see their crimes as a game."

"A game they seem to be winning," said Rock, lifting up a newspaper for the camera to catch. "The November 23rd Pacific Post reports a drastic decrease in the apprehension rate since the Siege Engine's presence. Where before there was a high eighty percent caught, we're now looking at the low sixties."

"Still above the national average," said Havert.

"But way below Pacific City's average over the last couple of years," said Rock. "So we're looking at not only a continuation but an increase in the crime rate after the loss of heroes, we're also looking at statistical proof that these heroes were effective in the apprehension of those committing these crimes."

"Rock, you're looking at percentages, what needs to be studied are the numbers behind them," said Havert. "At what rate has crime increased compared to increases in the number of police officers on the street? We're not looking at proof of the effectiveness of heroes but the ineffectiveness of the mayor's ability to adequately back up this city's police force when they need it the most."

"But shouldn't the use of the Siege Engine as well as Venus Mantrap and Vapour supplement the loss of previous heroes?" said Rock. "Or has the mayor's plan backfired and caused more problems for this city than it has solved? And that's what we're asking you all at home," said Rock, looking at the camera. "Call in and voice off at..."

He picked up the phone and pressed redial. He'd been trying to get through all morning, now was his chance.

Busy.

He hung up and pressed redial again.

Busy.

"And we'll be back after these messages," said Rock.

He pressed redial.

Busy.

"Damn it!" he shouted, hanging up and hitting redial again.

"Constipation got you down?" said the female voiceover on the television as viewers were greeted with a man looking quite upset and holding his stomach.

Busy.

He hung up and pressed redial again.

The television cut to a spiffy computer model of the innards of a person being coated with whatever stuff they were trying to sell. It looked tasty.

Busy.

He hung up and pressed redial again.

Now the man looked happy. "Live again!" said the female voice.

"And welcome back to 'The Rock Report'," said Virgil Rock as his face popped up on the screen. "With me today is Doctor Richard Havert, Professor of Science Power Studies at Pacific City University and we're taking your calls. Samantha out of Lorrington, you're on the air."

"Yes, do either of you know if there are any plans to bring this Siege Engine or impliment the methods Mayor Jerrod has used in Pacific City elsewhere in Australia?" asked the voice over the television.

Busy.

"Stupid question!" he shouted at the television as he hung up and redialed.

"I'm not aware of anything, are you Doctor Havert?" said Rock.

"No, I'm afraid I'm not, though I wouldn't be surprized if the government is keeping an eye on Pacific City to see how well it does and the effectiveness of such laws."

"Thanks for calling," said Rock, "we're discussing Mayor Jerrod's policies towards science heroes in Pacific City, good or bad, caller you're on the air."

"Thanks, Rock, love the show. Doctor Havert, you said that the increase in crime is due in part to the season, but how exactly does it compare to previous summers? Are we looking at a greater or lower increase?"

Busy.

He hung up and pressed redial again.

"We're looking at a similar increase," said Havert.

"Percentage wise?" asked Rock with a grin.

"Well, yes..."

"YES!" the man shouted as the phone rang on the other end.

"So let's look at the numbers," said Rock, lifting up two different newspapers for the camera to catch, "as you say we need to do, Doctor. In the last two months since the Siege Engine's been active we have seen an increase in violent crimes by only three hundred and seventy compared to four hundred and eighty seven reports for the same period last year. Doctor Havert, the percentages are the same but the numbers are lower, what exactly do you think accounts for the decrease in criminal activity overall compared to the previous year numbers wise?"

"The crime rate has been dropping steadily over the last few years..."

"Thank you for calling The Rock Report," said a voice on the other end, "Name and city?"

"And not only does that match the time period of increased activity of science heroes," said Rock, "but it direcly contradicts your reports that attribute an INCREASE in crime rates with an increase in hero activity."

"But the devil is in the details, Rock," said Havert. "And it's not just about the overall crime rate but the areas in which the rates have changed. True, overall crime has dropped, but a large decrease in robbery and minor non-violent offenses have been offset by drastic increases in more violent crimes, beatings, murder, mutilations, as well as an increase in science villain activity. These heroes may be effective in stopping the common criminal, but what good are they if they can't stop the larger threats to the city, the same threats they invite?"

"Matt from Pacific City, what's up?" said Rock.

"Considering the Mayor simply replaced these heroes with newly appointed ones, former villains at that, can't we conclude that an increase in crime shows the effectiveness of the previous heroes and that they mayor is possibly wasting our money by targeting the wrong people?"

"Matt," said Havert, "as has been said, the increase in crime is not unlike what we normally see this time of year. And the replacement of former heroes with new ones is not helping because they are still science heroes that invite the problems they combat."

"Phil from Pacific City, you're on."

"Millennium Man was a murderer and deserves much worse than he's getting. The man deserves to die."

"Thanks for calling," said Rock. "Jimmy out of Pacific City, give me something relevant."

"Yes," said the man into the phone, "I was wondering if Doctor Havert noted the spike in criminal activity immedeately following the apprehension of Bush43 and how activity has continued to increase since then, regardless of Millennium Man's capture or the season, or did Bush43's arrest mark the begining of summer?"

Rock chuckled and looked to Doctor Havert. "Doctor?"

"Well," said Havert, "Bush43's apprehension led to an increase in the crime rate not because of his contributions to the arrest of criminals, which was miniscule at best, but because it marked the beginning of the Mayor's campaign against rogue science heroes."

"And how did that cause an increase in crime, Doctor?" asked Rock. "Perhaps it backfired by saying it was open season on Pacific City because we were turning on our heroes?"

"I would hardly count the arrest of such a minor player as Bush43 as a signifigant show of any change in policy," said Havert. "Millennium Man and Winters's arrests were the first sure signs of the extent the mayor was willing to go."

"MINOR?!?!?!!" shouted the man into the phone as he rose to his feet, not realizing he was no longer on the air. "MINOR?!?!!!! BAH!"

He threw his phone across the room and fell back into his chair.

"Next caller, Tammy from Pacific City, how are ya?" said Rock.

"He was not minor," he fumed, staring at the television.

"Oh, Rock, I can't believe I'm on the air, oh, I just love your show..."

***

Twenty minutes ago...

The mask was a little tight. The suit at least a size too small. The shoes not nearly wide enough.

And he was hungry.

But he was too broke to buy anything else, so this would have to do. For now. But once he started being all heroic, oh, the money could come rolling in and he'd not only have a mask and suit that fit but a utility belt and a fan club and a secret lair. Yeah.

But first he had to learn a few things.

Thus the signal.

He was chosen to design this by his hero, the Man himself. He was giddy with excitement.

He knew it would be useless, that it wouldn't reach its full potential, that the man it was meant to call for could not come.

But it was to be a sign to Pacific City that it had nothing to fear. That it still had heroes to protect it.

And maybe, just maybe the hero himself would be looking out a window and see the light gleaming in the night sky and feel emboldened at the thought of being remembered and revered.

Perhaps it would shine a little light into the soul of a man who really needed the help.

***

Six weeks ago...

'Everyone's a freakin' expert now,' he thought as he stomped down the street past the newsstand peddling papers and magazines. Many didn't care, but some had a story he had known for months now.

The first victim of the Mayor's new agenda to clear the city of rogue science heroes.

The story of Bush43.

'You're nobody until your gone,' he thought, 'starving artist. Damn it, I knew him first!'

Even the articles that mentioned fansites failed to highlight his, the one he worked so hard on, the one that was FIRST and by far the best.

And the media and the public, talking like they knew the man, that they had followed his every move, that they followed every exploit and adventure, they all spoke like they were the ones who knew all along, the ones who religiously followed and studied the man.

The media hates when a story passes them by, when history stands against them as they ignored what is now a big deal. So they'll change history, add stories, redeem themselves with exposes and commentary and cover stories and expert opinions. They analyze something that they ignored before and can't get to now. Now that he's gone, everyone wants to know everything about this Bush43.

The man kept his hard walk, his head low, his mind cursing the masses for their ignorence and ineffectiveness in saving that which they now professed to care so much about.

They wondered where this hero went, this fine upstanding hero of their city, and most of them were glad to be rid of him.

Oh, the majority who are now Bush-heads think he should have been apprehended, that he was a bad seed, that he was exactly what the Mayor was rallying against, an irresponsible generation of so called heroes taking the law into their own hands, making a mockery of the justice system, and what the hell was up with the George W. Bush mask?

Then came the theories.

Who is Bush43?

Like any of them knew. Even he did't know, the man who stomped and cursed under his breath and knew every possible public detail there was to know about Bush43. The man preordained to be his sidekick, the man assigned to make a grand signal to show to the city that it was not alone.

He would remind them all who the man was, what he did for this city while they slept and ignored him. He would show this city that it was still safe, that the man it wanted to know so much about was an enigma none of them would solve, but all of them would experience.

He had no idea what that meant, but he liked the way it sounded and smiled to himself at the thought.

***

Now...

He smiled as he looked at the sky and the light that reflected off the clouds above.

A tear ran down his cheek, he was so moved by the beauty.

Then the light flickered once. And then again.

And then with a pop and a hiss it died.

"NO!" the man in the Dick Cheney mask cried out as he turned and ran towards the smoking signal. He reached out and quickly pulled back as the touch burned his hand. "Ouch, damn!" He kicked the signal and cursed again as the thing toppled over and he hopped, massaging his now sore foot.

He lost his balance, fell on his ass and then his back and laid there, staring at the now empty sky above, empty except for the low hanging clouds that covered Pacific City.

He laid there for a while, not moving, not even when the rain began to fall.

A city full of experts and not a single one gave a damn.

He sighed, closed his eyes, and listened to the rain fall and strike the roof around him, imagining that somewhere his hero was doing the same only indoors and dry and against his will.

What a happy thought.