"Alfonse... I agreed to let your friend stay here, but I don't appreciate being attacked in my own home!" Victoria snarled.

Alfonse sighed; he had been awoken just about dawn as Ms. Burke came home from one of her nightly jaunts and surprised Mr. Carter, who was apparently in throes of insomnia. He had attacked her without thinking -- a purely instinctual self defense -- and things had snow-balled from there.

"Ms. Burke, I am sure it was an accident. He was just trying to defend himself..."

"I didn't attack him, Alfonse! I was coming in the window. The window on the second story of the East Wing, a place that I thought we had agreed would be mine and mine alone! Carter is allowed anywhere in the house but there, and you both know it! I'm just lucky he tried to kick me in the testicles... although, I am sure if I had them, they would've hurt. And, another thing: tell him to quit flirting with me. I'm not interested!" Victoria snapped. "Look... I... I'm sorry just please try to make sure that Mister Carter obeys the rules. All right?"

"That I will gladly do, Ms. Burke," Alfonse said, smiling. "Now, if I am not mistaken, you should be at work... would you like for me to bring the car around?"

"Work? Oh, no... I haven't even done my hair yet..." She turned and retreated up the stairs. "Yes, please have the car waiting..."

Alfonse chuckled as he turned and stepped out of the room.

Mysteria #5
"Love; Or Something Like It..."
by Robert Flynn

As he passed, an old woman choked out one last gasp and fell down dead. The young man, who rushed to help to her, suddenly noticed a very bad itch. Not even an hour later, he'd be in a hospital, scraping away his layers of skin frantically.

The tall man chuckled as he saw them, knowing what would happen to each upon his passing. He revved his Harley and began speeding recklessly down the street; of course, he was saving the good stuff for that bastard Crowley.

After all, payback was a bitch.

* * *

Victoria Burke listened to the car radio a moment longer, taking in the news before cutting the engine and getting out. She was glad she had been too busy to get wrapped up in the foolishness with Mayor Jerrod; although, she still didn't know what to make of the new Pacific City government. At the very least, things would be interesting from now on.

She let the door slam behind her and activated the alarm as she confidently marched into the building. Now wasn't the time to worry about the political climate; it was time to focus on the financial world. She began pondering how she should go about weeding out the board of directors. She knew that at least one person there was against her... possibly the whole lot. She needed to know who was with her and who was against her.

* * *

Neil sneezed yet again. He hated flowers. They were okay to look at, sure, but the pollen always killed him. He wished Ms. Burke would just get here, so she could take the damned things to her office or trash them or whatever she would choose to do with them. He must have signed for thirty different bouquets in the half hour he had been here. Who the hell was Jackson Crowley anyway? Ms. Burke had mentioned him but never directly to Neil. More like muttering under her breath.

The elevator dinged, announcing Ms. Burke's arrival as she marched out of it. "Good morning, Neil."

He nodded. "Ms. Burke. You have some..." He was broken off by a massive sneeze. "Deliveries..."

"Oh, lord,"she muttered, stopping and picking up a bouquet of roses. "Crowley, what are thinking?"

* * *

Neil helped her bring in the last of the flowers and then returned, sniffling, to his desk as Victoria sat behind hers, a bouquet of white roses sitting on her lap. Yes, Crowley was an ass... and pretty old besides that, definitely not her type. But... the flowers were kind of cute. She had come across a note on one that read simply, 'Vickie... the other morning didn't go so well. Please accept my apologies. Dearest Wishes, Jackson Crowley.'

Maybe not everything about the man was crash and boorish...he was even in his own way a little cute. She let that thought echo in her mind for a moment before crinkling her nose in disgust. Had she just really thought that? Of her own free will? What was the matter with her?

She thought it over and found herself going back to the thought that had troubled her so much. It was true... he reminded her of those dignified-looking American actors. The one's everyone thought were so attractive. Like that guy... she had him on the tip of her tongue but couldn't quite place him. She couldn't seem to concentrate on it or much of anything, her thoughts creeping back to Crowley.

Somehow, it didn't surprise her much fifteen minutes later when her cell phone began ringing, and he was on the line.

"Victoria... glad to finally catch you."

"To be honest, I expected you to phase out of the shadows again," she said, adding venom to the words she didn't quite feel.

"Did you get my gifts?"

"A bit excessive...," she said, eyeing her office full of flowers.

"I wanted you to know how bad I felt... I've even decided to give up on the money. You can keep it."

That startled her. "Why the change of heart, Crowley?"

"I couldn't go through with it... I guess, somehow, I expected you to be just like your father. But, I found out that you are your own person, a little bit of a bitch, yes, but that just makes you more... I don't know... appealing."

She sighed. "Stop sucking up, Crowley. What do you want?"

"Lunch. Just lunch. Don't worry..." He sounded almost amused by her reaction.

"Haven't we tried that before*?" she asked, growing irritated.

"That was dinner, V... this is lunch. Same restaurant, though; do you remember?"

"Yes, Reste's..." she said slowly.

"I don't understand why you left before the main course," he said, his tone playful.

"I..." She stopped the sentence because she couldn't either; she had no idea why she had left. Something had upset her...but what?

"Will you?" he asked, his voice urging her on demanding a decision.

"Y...yes," she said suddenly, sure that this was the right answer. "Gladly."

"Good, we have a noon reservation." He was almost chuckling now; she could hear it in his voice. "See you then."

And then, the line went dead, and she heard nothing.

Noon... God, that was so far away...

* * *

Crowley hung up, a smile on his face. He always got what he wanted, sometimes though... he just had to cheat a bit at it. And, that bitch Victoria had taken to it hook, line, and sinker. He had been serious about the money though; he'd found a much better prize.

"I get everything I want, Victoria... sooner or later. No matter how frigid a bitch like you acts, I always get what I want..."

He lit up another cigarette and stepped out of his hotel. The day was looking up.

* * *

"Oh God, Neil..."

He looked up, surprised, and saw Ms. Burke rushing towards him smiling. "Is something wrong?"

"Nothing!" she said, smiling again. "Oh, Neil, I had to tell someone..."

"Tell someone what, Ms. Burke? What's going on?" he asked, confused.

"I have a date with the most wonderful man for lunch..."

"Mr. Manly? I've noticed you two looking at each other..." Of course, as he said it, he realized he was wrong.

"Michael? Eww, no."

"Then, who?" he asked, mostly to appease her. He had never seen Ms. Burke prancing around like a schoolgirl.

"Jackson Crowley."

"The flower guy? The one who called nonstop the other day?" he asked cautiously.

"Yes, him. He is a great guy, Neil," she said, trailing off. She was beginning to worry him.

"I thought you had said that he was an egotistical arse?" Neil said remember a few of the muttered comments about the stranger over the last week. He must be a Hell of a guy to cause such a reaction from her.

"That was before I knew him. I have to go. I need to go home and get ready."

"But, you just got here," Neil protested.

Ms. Burke ignored him and just walked to the elevator, humming the whole way.

"Damn," Neil muttered -- looked like another day of covering her ass.

* * *

Alfonse was surprised when Victoria walked back into the mansion just over an hour after she left.

"Is something the matter?"

"Nothing, Alfonse," Victoria said in an almost sing-song voice." This is going to be a great day, but I have to go get dressed..."

"You are dressed, dear," Alfonse said slowly, wondering what was going on.

"Oh, these are rags," Victoria said, starting up the stairs.

"It's one of your suits. You designed it..."

"Yes, almost a year ago... I have better taste now," she shouted as she kicked her bedroom door shut behind her.

Alfonse shook his head. "Now, what was all that about?"

* * *

Victoria hummed to herself as she pulled her hair up and looked into the mirror.

"Perfect. Oh, he is going to love this..." She reached for a pair of earrings. "Absolutely perfect."

* * *

Crowley stood outside the Reste's, wearing the same outfit he had before. It was nothing special, but he had a feeling V wouldn't care...

Then he heard it -- somewhere far off but coming quick. That damned motorcycle... After so long, he'd know it anywhere.

"Not now, Alan... not now. Tomorrow, fine... but not now." Or tonight, he added silently; he'd be busy tonight. He and Victoria both... For several nights, actually.

* * *

Victoria swung the car into Valet parking and got out; she smiled a bit as the attendant actually gasped and dropped the keys, staring at her. She knew she looked good, but it was nice to see it worked. Last time she had gone in invisible, and they saw her anyway. This time, they'd have something too look at.

* * *

The man in the suit sat down and finally got around to not fidgeting. "Hello, uhm, Miste...uh Miss..."

"Mayor will be fine," Anna Romanova said smiling. "Just mayor."

"Yes, well... I hope that my company's relationship with... past offices will carry over to the new one. Uhm... Can he hear me or will I have to repeat this or...," the man trailed off, slightly embarrassed.

Mayor Romanova grinned and chuckled, amused. "My brother will be aware, yes, nothing to worry about."

"It's just that...I'm sure you understand this is a unique situation..."

"Of course it is," she said; she loved seeing people try to figure it all out, though. "We understand all too well..."

She turned her attention away from him; she had other things on her mind when she had suggested here and now for this meeting...

* * *

"Vicky, you look lovely," Crowley said, stepping up beside her; he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, the sudden familiarity making her flinch a little.

"Thank you, Crowley...."

"Call me Jack, love, please," he said, smiling at her.

"I guess Crowley is a bit formal," she said, her head moving of its own accord to rest on his shoulder.

"I've got our table, and our drinks," he said, steering her through the restaurant.

"That's good," she said, not really paying attention. This felt so good... so right. And. when his hand moved subtly past her lower back, she didn't complain.

He set her down in her seat and then took his own across from her; he had just started to open his mouth when the familiar voice rang out...

"Crowley!!!!!!!"

* * *

Mayor Romanova raised an eyebrow. Now, things would get interesting.

* * *

The man in the helmet pushed the Maitre De' aside and stomped his way to Crowley and Victoria's table.

"You piece of rat shit... Three goddamn continents, Jack... THREE!!!!" Behind him, someone swooned, another began to sweat and shiver.

Crowley grinned trying to look cool. "Alan, how are you?"

"I'm dead, Jack!!! Which was not part of our deal," the man responded, his voice booming through the motorcycle helmet.

"You wanted eternal life... well, aren't you still moving?" Crowley asked.

"Jack, who is this man?" Victoria demanded.

He ignored her. "Aren't you, Alan?"

"The deal was life! I can't feel, I can't taste, I can't smell... I haven't had a woman in seven years, you bastard... But, I noticed a little something about being dead, Crowley. I don't get sick... but everyone else does. How do you want to die, Jack? I've been collecting them just for you!" The tall man was screaming now. "Malaria? The Bubonic Plague maybe? How about SARS? I've had fun with that one..."

"Who the hell are you?" Victoria demanded.

"Or, should I start with her?" Alan asked.

"Leave her out of it," Crowley said, slowly; he was getting irritated now.

"Like you left my sister out of it?" Alan shot back.

"Oh, come on..." Crowley said, passing it off as nothing.

"She was sixteen, Jack," Alan said, his voice trembling in fury.

"And willing. And far from inexperienced," Jack replied, glaring at the helmet. "Now, piss off."

"Dammit, would you both STOP IGNORING ME!!!" Victoria screamed at the top of her lungs. The whole restaurant stared at her.

"Shut up," Alan said to her quietly... Victoria was stunned; no one spoke to her like that.

"Now, listen, I am Victoria Burke! You can't talk to me like that!" She said, shocked.

"I think I just did. Now, shut up while Loverboy and I have a talk."

Victoria got up and stormed off to the ladies room.

"Vicky.... oh, come on, baby..." Crowley called after her. She ignored him and kept walking.

"You ruined me, Crowley... I wanted to be the best. The unkillable!" Alan shouted.

"And you are," Crowley said. "Nothing can harm you; you have what you wanted."

"I wanted immortality! You made me a zombie! Now, I'll make you a corpse... No one will hire a stunt man that looks like this!"

He pulled off his helmet revealing his thin, grey diseased flesh. Unnoticed by anyone, the ladies room door opened on its own.

"I wanted to survive it all... bombs, flaming cars, every thrill there was. You screwed me out of that."

"You didn't specify good looking..." Crowley said, sipping his vodka.

"Hey, ugly... you really shouldn't ruin other peoples dinners..."

"Who said that???" Alan demanded spinning around.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Mysteria said, kicking him in the jaw.

* * *

Mayor Romanova smiled. "Well, Ms. Burke... let's see how well you do by yourself."

***

"Little Bitch..." Alan groaned as something slammed into him from behind again. He dropped down to one knee.

"Now, that isn't nice at all... I prefer little Minx..."

"If I get a hold of you, it'll be little pool of blood!" He growled.

"Sure, it will..." She danced around him punching and kicking repeatedly. "Just fall down, dammit."

"Isn't gonna happen!" He grunted, throwing random punches as she ducked under and kicked him hard in the groin.

"Damn... it works for Bush... Guess I'll have to do it my own way." She grabbed him about the neck and twisted hard; after all, how can you kill someone who is already dead?

She turned until she heard a dry snapping, the dead man's head spinning...

"Bitch..." He stumbled, the suddenly seeing everything the wrong way...

She tackled him, the floor suddenly rushing at his face. They hit hard, bones breaking in his face. She leaned down and whispered in his ear.

"Go away. Forget Crowley. You mess with him, you get me."

Then, she stomped down hard on his chest, feeling brittle ribs crack. He clawed away from her...

"Sooner or later, girl... I'll heal up."

"Get out of here...now," she said through clenched teeth; she had no patience for people who interrupted civilized meals...

She watched the twisted corpse shamble out the door. "Someone actually listened to me for once... how wonderful."

She started back towards the bathroom. It wouldn't do for Victoria Burke to never reemerge. Halfway there, she felt a firm grip on her arm.

"Ms. Burke... we need to talk," Mayor Romanova said smiling. "I have a deal you might be very interested in..."